Marriage in Hinduism

Sephiroth

Source :- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_in_Hinduism

Hindu Marriage joins two individuals for life, so that they can pursue dharma (duty), artha (possessions), kama (physical desires), and moksa (ultimate spiritual release) together. It is a union of two individuals from the opposite sex as husband / wife and is recognized by law. In Hinduism, marriage is followed by traditional rituals for consummation. In fact, marriage is not considered complete or valid until consummation. It also joins two families together. Favorable colours are normally red and gold for this occasion.

This can be considered the basic interpretation of Marriage in Hinduism. It is a union of two individual of the opposite sex with purpose of allowing them to pursuit various activities such as dharma (duty to oneself, family and society), obtaining possession, physical pleasures and eventually spiritualism. In Hinduism, marriage is a sacred bond and this bond is complete ONLY after consummation (sex).

I have checked online and I found similarities between Hinduism and Roman Church where both belief system emphasis that a marriage is only valid after comsummation had occurred and a marriage can be made invalid (separation of the couple) if the consummation did not take place. In Hinduism, the elders of the society could have do that and in Roman Church, the Pope has the right to dissolve a marriage. Not sure about Islam though.

Sephiroth

According to Hinduism there are eight different types of Hindu marriages.

Brahma marriage The Brahma marriage is the marriage of one's daughter, after decking her with costly garments and with presents of jewels, to a man of good conduct learned in the Vedas, and invited by oneself.

Daiva marriage The Daiva rite is the marriage of one's daughter, decked with ornaments to a priest who duly officiates at a religious ceremony, during the course of its performance.

Arsha marriage Arsha marriage is when the father gives away his daughter, after receiving from the bridegroom a cow and a bull or two pairs of either as bride price.

Prajapatya marriage Prajapatya is when a girl's father gives her in marriage to the bridegroom, treating him with respect, and addresses them: 'May both of you perform together your duties'

Gandharva marriage The voluntary union of a maiden and her lover which springs from sexual desire is called Gandharva marriage.

Asura marriage Asura marriage is when the bridegroom receives a maiden, after having given of his own free will as much wealth as he can afford, to the bride and her kinsmen.

Rakshasa marriage Rakshasa marriage is the marriage of a maiden involving her forcible abduction from her home after her kinsmen have been slain or wounded.

Paishacha marriage When a man by stealth seduces a girl who is sleeping, intoxicated, or mentally challenged, it is called Paishacha marriage. This is condemned in the Manusmriti as a base and sinful act.[2]

The first four marriages are conducted by Hindus from various society levels while Gandharva marriage refers to union (prior marriage) through sexual intercourse. As long as  the two hearts are united, they can live as one couple and perform their marriage ceremony before their elders later. Of course, in Islam and Christianity, this are considered as adultery.

The funny thing here is, the marriage types which are used by Muslims can be labelled (by Hindus) as the Asura type marriage where it is the groom who pays dowry for the hand of the bride to the family.  Also the action of marrying by force and marrying war slaves are Rakshaha (demonic) marriage - again conducted by Muslims as well.

And in Hinduism, the action of committing sexual offense (Paishacha marriage) toward a sleeping girl, or intoxicated or mentally challenged girl (basically against her free will or sound mind) are considered to be a sinful action.

Sephiroth

Oh forgot to mention. I have checked the Vedas about mixed marriages of different caste. In Hinduism, the caste is determined by the groom (and not the bride).

Therefore, if a Muslim girl were to marry a Brahmin boy, she is to become a Brahmin girl herself (following the caste of her husband who she shares her worldly duty now). And as long as she choose to live as a Brahmin (and not as a Muslim), she will be treated as a Hindu by her new family and be accepted into the fold, performing various tasks including giving out prasadam to others.

I remember a scene from one of those old Shivaji Ganesan movie (was it Gauravam?) where one of the Brahmin lawyer went and marry a low-caste woman without his knowledge and everyone took prasadam from her (because they believe she is blessed with good fortune). After he found out about her caste, he was twitching around like a worm. The movie probably made by someone who had no idea how Hindu marriage works because if he did, he could have known that as soon as the low-caste woman got married to a Brahmin, she too are now a Brahmin woman as long as she performs her sacred and worldly duties like a Hindu woman.

Sephiroth

Why must a woman abandon her gotram (caste) and follow her husband's?

In today's modern society, many of the womenfolks are highly educated (in modern education) to the point that they refer themselves as equals (to men). Therefore, questions like why a woman must abandon her gotram (or caste) and follow her husband's caste will be asked, especially if the woman are from higher caste who married (due to love) to a lower caste man. Vedas are clear about this - a woman MUST follow the gotram of her husband after marriage. Which means if she is a Brahmin who married to a low caste man (out of love) then she too must adopt the low-caste life style and must not involve herself with her (pre-marriage) family affairs in term of rituals and such. She and her husband can come and get involved only as a guest (and in many high caste families, that could mean that she cannot cook for them). This leaves many modern women in distress and feel that Hinduism is being unfair to them. However, there are logical reasons for this.

"Women must be honored and adorned by their fathers, brothers, husbands, and brothers‑in‑law, who desire their own welfare. Where women are honored, there the gods are pleased; but where they are not honored, no sacred rite yields rewards. Where the female relations live in grief, the family soon wholly perishes; but that family where they are not unhappy ever prospers. The houses on which female relations, not being duly honored, pronounce a curse, perish completely, as if destroyed by magic. Hence men who seek (their own) welfare, should always honor women on holidays and festivals with (gifts of) ornaments, clothes and (dainty) food." (Manu Smriti III.55-59)

In a similar way that would foretell the future if women are no longer honored, Grandfather Bhishma explained: "O ruler of the earth (Yuddhisthira) the lineage in which daughters and the daughters-in-law are saddened by ill treatment, that lineage is destroyed. When out of their grief these women curse these households, such households lose their charm, prosperity and happiness." (Mahabharata, Anushashanparva, 12.14)

            Furthermore, in the Vedas, when a woman is invited into the family through marriage, she enters "as a river enters the sea" and "to rule there along with her husband, as a queen, over the other members of the family." (Atharva-Veda 14.1.43-44) This kind of equality is rarely found in any other religious scripture. Plus, a woman who is devoted to God is more highly regarded than a man who has no such devotion, as found in the Rig-Veda: "Yea, many a woman is more firm and better than the man who turns away from Gods, and offers not." (Rig-Veda, 5.61.6)

A married woman is the Queen of the home. Her main purpose of being married into a home is to maintain the house hold and the people living within, as well as to maintain financial control and daily affairs of the home and her family. This is her worldly duty and it is expected from her to accomplish it properly. Unlike some Arabic religion which treats its womanfolks like cattle and slaves, Hinduism pushes for the womanfolks to take control of the household and put the affairs of her husband in order.

A low caste husband may be a farmer or a merchant (or in today's society, someone who works 9.00 - 5.00 in a office). He may not have much time for spiritual activites and have limited time and resources to provide to his husband. However, as the Queen of the house, it is the duty of the wife to take what her husband had provided and maintain her family properly. If a woman still cling to her lifestyle she had before she was married (in this case, as a Brahmin maiden), then she could not able to maintain her family as her mind could seek Spiritual path. In doing so, she could do a great injustice to her new family by abandoning her duty.

Also, some woman continued to hold onto their higher caste status as a social status. They could walk around claiming that they are brahmins even so the Vedas clearly stated that they had lost that status as soon as they married to a low-caste man. Not only this is against the Vedas, but such practise could also hurt the feelings of her husband and her new family.

Therefore, we can conclude that the reason why a woman follows the gotram (caste) of her husband is so they could be on equal levels and begin their lives as equals. A couple who are not equal to each other will not be happy as Ego will set inbetween them like Shanni.

Source : http://www.stephen-knapp.com/women_in_vedic_culture.htm

Sephiroth

What is the status of (the conduct) rape in Hinduism?

Perviously I had mentioned that Gandharva marriage means union of a couple (through sex). Some people could argue that this opens up a legal status of Rape where a man can go about raping a girl in order to marry her. In the major religion of the World - Judaism, Christianity and Islam - this is true when an unmarried man were to rape a maiden, he is order to pay certain amount of wealth and order to MARRY HER.

However, in Hinduism, such practise do not exist. The lowest of the marriage (status) is the one where a person seduces a girl to have sex with him (usually by giving false information) or use intoxication or force oneself upon a sleeping girl or to force oneself upon a mentally challenged girl. While this is considered "marriage" it is still considered sinful actions according to Hinduism.

So what about Rape? Which can be define as an action where a man uses violence and threat to force a girl to have sex with him without her consent and in many cases could lead to distress, bodily harm and mental shock to the girl in question. The source below provides some insight :

8.352. Those who rape or molest women or incite them into adultery should be given harshest punishment that creates fear among others to even think of such a crime.

While Muslims speaks greatly about their Hudud System able to protect womenfolks, their punishment toward crimes of Rape are weak and pathetic and in many cases, women who are raped end up paying the price for what the court calls adultery and end up being "wife" to the very person who raped her, assuring years of misery and discontend.

In Hinduism, death penalty (the harshest punishment) or even torture are called upon those who commit rape in order to protect womenfolks. Therefore, Hinduism DO NOT PROMOTE RAPE and anyone who incite others to do so MUST be punished with the most harshes punishment as possible.

Source : http://agniveer.com/manu-smriti-and-women/

Sephiroth

Which is the Best Marriage option?

Another question which could pop-up especially since Hinduism have several type of "unions" which they considered marriage (refer to the copy below of my first post : )

Brahma marriage The Brahma marriage is the marriage of one's daughter, after decking her with costly garments and with presents of jewels, to a man of good conduct learned in the Vedas, and invited by oneself.

Daiva marriage The Daiva rite is the marriage of one's daughter, decked with ornaments to a priest who duly officiates at a religious ceremony, during the course of its performance.

Arsha marriage Arsha marriage is when the father gives away his daughter, after receiving from the bridegroom a cow and a bull or two pairs of either as bride price.

Prajapatya marriage Prajapatya is when a girl's father gives her in marriage to the bridegroom, treating him with respect, and addresses them: 'May both of you perform together your duties'

Gandharva marriage The voluntary union of a maiden and her lover which springs from sexual desire is called Gandharva marriage.

Asura marriage Asura marriage is when the bridegroom receives a maiden, after having given of his own free will as much wealth as he can afford, to the bride and her kinsmen.

Rakshasa marriage Rakshasa marriage is the marriage of a maiden involving her forcible abduction from her home after her kinsmen have been slain or wounded.

Paishacha marriage When a man by stealth seduces a girl who is sleeping, intoxicated, or mentally challenged, it is called Paishacha marriage. This is condemned in the Manusmriti as a base and sinful act.[2]

The Answer is - There is NO such thing as the best wedding option. Wedding or Union of two individuals are done accordance to the condition or situation of the event. In most situation, the wedding is done after months of preparation, meetings and schedule makings. Halls are booked, relatives from both sides are invited on a auspicious day and the couple are united to begin their lives together. While this is the normal description of a wedding festival, one should not take this as the exact nature of union between two souls.

However, there are situation where such festival cannot occur due to some unfortunate situation. If a couple married (by tying a thali) under a tree with a few friends and the gods as witness, are they not married? In Mahabratha, Sri Krishna Himself had perform TWO type of marriages (among a few others).


1. When marrying Rukmini. Sri Krishna seems to have performed Prajapatya marriage - where Rukmini was send away (with blessing) by her parents who did not like the idea of her marrying Shishupal (as suggested by her brother, Rukmi in order to avoid war).  There were battle on which Sri Krishna and His brother, Balarama defeated the suitor's army as well as Rukmi. However the main different between this being a Prajapatya marriage (and not Rakshasa marriage) is that it was Rukmini who seeks out Sri Krishna as her husband and He accepted her. He did not force her in anyway nor take her as "war trophy" upon defeating her suitor (Shishupala) and her brother, Rukmi.


2. Marriage of 16,000 wives after defeating Narakasura. This form of marriage seems to be close to Rakshasa marriage except that it was the 16,000 women who were held captives by the Demon Narakasura who seeks out Sri Krishna and beg Him to marry them or allow them to die with dignity (as their parents will not accept them now that the demon had defiled them). Out of compassion, Sri Krishna had accepted them as wives in order to safeguard their dignity. Also, Hindus today celebrate Deepvalli in remembrance of Sri Krishna defeating Narakasura.

Sephiroth

What is the status of Islamic marriage accordance to Hindu tradition?


Yes, I will admit this is a strange question to ask. Islam comes from Arabia Peninsula while Hinduism existed in India long before Judaism even existed. So how does both belief have anything in common when comes to marriage (or any other social function). Unfortunately we have to ask this question because there are many in Hindu society who have relatives who are (or married to) Muslims.


And when I said Islamic marriage here, I do not mean the type where Muslims wage war and grab women as slaves (like what IS) are doing. A proper Islamic marriage is the one where both families get together before a Kadi, perform prayers and then ask whether the groom will accept the bride with certain amount of "mas kahwin" or dowry and the groom have the right to accept or decline and then the bride is asked whether she will accept the groom or not. Only when both parties agreed to be married that they will be considered a legitimate couple.


Note : Mind you that this is based on what I have seen in the Malay and Hindustan movies. I myself had only attended ONE MALAY MARRIAGE so far. So if I have missed anything, please correct it.


From what I can see about Islamic marriage, we can categorize it as an Arsha marriage :

Arsha marriage is when the father gives away his daughter, after receiving from the bridegroom a cow and a bull or two pairs of either as bride price.

Why did Hindus give cow or a bull or both as bride price? For several reasons. Most of those who follow this ritual (of marriage) are farmers (and maybe merchants) who has no use for gold and silver to be stored in their homes (not to mention the security reasons). Therefore, they choose what is the most useful for them - cows (which provide milk) and bull (which will help in the farm). Not to mention that in Hinduism, cows are considered sacred animals (besides elephants).


However, in today's modern society, it is not possible to use cows and bulls as dowry. However, it is possible to provide the equal amount of wealth to the bride's family equavilant to that of a cow or a bull's market price. Therefore, Arsha marriage is suitable of one is planning to marry into a Muslim family.


Some may think this is weird and outdated practice. However, it is practical today as it is hundreds or thousands of years ago. In many parts of the World where gold and silver holds little value, livestocks are used as dowries for marriage, such as with the Maasi people of Africa and with many rural farming communities in India, Middle-East and China. Therefore, in Hinduism, all these marriages ARE VALID regardless whether they follow Hinduism or not.


Now that is a Global Religion.

Sephiroth

Source : http://www.hinduwebsite.com/hinduism/h_marriage.asp

A Marriage vow
I take hold of your hand for good fortune, so that with me, your husband, you may
attain to old age. The gods, Bhaga, Aryaman, Savitur and Pushan gave you to me
for leading the life of a householder. (Rig Veda X. 85.36)

A marriage blessing
Bounteous Indra, endow this bride with great sons and fortune. Give her ten sons
and make the husband the eleventh. (Rig Veda X.85.46)

While Tying the Sacred Thread
O maiden of many auspicious qualities, I tie this sacred thread around your neck for
my long life. May you live happily for a hundred years!

Marriage For Money
A marriage of the demons (asuras) results when money is taken in exchange for
the bride. (Yagnavalkya Smriti)

Dowry

One of the "evil" in Hindu marriage are the practice of Dowry-giving in marriages, where the bride's family had to give a large sum of money when they give the bride away. Some even consider such practice to be originated from  Brahma or Daiva marriage practice.

Today, especially in India, the practice of giving dowry have become a major problem to the point that it had shaped itself toward a business-like trend. This cause further social problems, including murder and suicide. Laws prohibiting dowry have been introduced in India but has limited affect especially because certain race following Arabic tradition still insist of turning the divine tradition of marriage into a business-like event.

In Malaysia (and I suspect it is the same for other countries outside India as well), dowry problem are less due to the fact that Hindus there do not allow non-Hindus to mix their tradition and ideals into their lifestyle and customs (like what happening in India with Hindus who mix Christian and Islamic tradition into their customs and tradition).

Sephiroth

Source : http://www.hinduwebsite.com/hinduism/h_premarital.asp

How is Sex viewed in Hinduism?

This is a strange question however there are certain level of truth which one must explore within the issue of sex and marriages.

I'm not going to talk about Islam because we all know in Islam, marriage is a business deal and women are livestock which are traded between the father of the bride and whoever desires to have sex with the bride under a certain amount of wealth for specific time. To even call such practice marriage is to insult marriage itself. So I will not be bothered about Islam. However, I have heard some interesting misconception among Christians, especially youth and how they were told about sex in Christianity. Below is five myth (or lies) which young Christian youths are lead to believe by their belief system when comes to sex and marriage :

Source : http://www.beliefnet.com/Faiths/ ... -About-Sex.aspx?p=2

Lie 1 :- Sexuality serves no purpose until I'm married.
Lie 2 :- If I'm tempted, there is something wrong (with me).
Lie 3 :- Sexual purity depends on the physical act of sex.
Lie 4 :- Holiness is about getting rid of Desire.
Lie 5 :- Once you get married, sex won't be an issue.

Source : http://vividlife.me/ultimate/244 ... -by-nithin-sridhar/
[Warning : Some images may be viewed as offensive by some]

Hindu Purusharthas:
Purusharthas means objectives of a human being. They are the canonical four ends or aims of human life. They serve as pointers in the life. The four Purusharthas from lowest to highest-

? Kama – pleasure or desire3
? Artha – wealth
? Dharma – righteousness or morality
? Moksha – liberation from the cycle of reincarnation

Here, fullfillment of Kama (lust) is the lowest (which doesn't mean it is less important) while (obtaining) Moksha is the highest (point) in one's life. However, the importance of kama (lust) here is that it serves as the root of social and personal life which could eventually lead to obtaining wealth (to support one's family), obtaining morality and righteousness and finally reaching the Spiritual liberation.

Unless one have discarded worldly living (to become a monk or a rishi), it is vital for a person to take up family and work through it to enrich one's own righteousness and morality which eventually leads up to Spiritualism.

Source : http://www.hinduwebsite.com/hinduism/h_premarital.asp

In Hinduism, sex is not a taboo. Hinduism, unlike some other faiths, does not regard sexual desire as evil or impure. Still it is a puritanical faith, because it puts heavy emphasis upon virtuous living and the importance of purity and austerity.

However, as in all other matters in Hinduism, intention is important to determine whether the sexual conduct of a person is lawful (dharma) or unlawful (adharma) and whether the sexual desire is pursued for the right ends. If a person pursues it purely for pleasure and selfish enjoyment, it is considered evil and unlawful. On the contrary, if it is pursued for procreation, as part of one's householder duties, the tradition upholds it as dutiful, moral and lawful.

I think this is straightforward without me trying to explain what is already explained.

However, I believe young men and women should abstinence from sex at young age, and put off marriage or any form of sexual pursuit (which could lead to unwanted pregnancy) as long as they are possible. It doesn't mean that they cannot love each other; they just need to maintain a proper distance and proper conduct.

Young people should cherish their youth and pursuit knowledge and Spiritual, Arts and Martial Art practices which could develop one's mind, soul, body and self-discipline which could become basis for later years in life. Men should learn to fight, speak many languages, learn as many things as possible and even travel around to see the World so they could not behave like a frog under a shell. Women should learn how to manage financial issues, crisis handling and even learn how to fight as these skills will be useful later when they settle down and start their own families. Such knowledge should be used to create women's self-reliance, confidence and ability to manage crisis which is important to any women.

Even if a woman become a widow, she should not rely on the help of others to support herself and her children - including from her relative and continue to live with dignity, virtue and self-confidence.

Truth.8

Sephiroth replied at 8-4-2015 10:12 AM
Source : http://www.hinduwebsite.com/hinduism/h_premarital.asp

How is Sex viewed in Hinduism?

I'm not going to talk about Islam because we all know in Islam, marriage is a business deal and women are livestock which are traded between the father of the bride and whoever desires to have sex with the bride under a certain amount of wealth for specific time. To even call such practice marriage is to insult marriage itself. So I will not be bothered about Islam. However, I have heard some interesting misconception among Christians, especially youth and how they were told about sex in Christianity. Below is five myth (or lies) which young Christian youths are lead to believe by their belief system when comes to sex and marriage :

you dont need talk about other peoples faith....even polygamy is allowed in islam...but i do not agreed on  this but you must remember...hindus husband keep mistress,  many born out of wedlock...this true....some malaysia hindus goes to india and keeping  mistress ...this are rich peoples type...so is kind adultery...are you denying it???

the poor hindus seek prostitutes in road side...you can visit Tun sambathan famous for india prostitutes....u sit and observed...u can see hindus and etc....surly some are married and cheating their wife...
so, before u judge others...it wise you do some research and survey....
yes i do visit those places  because buying indian herbs but pass by those area ...i will stay and do some   survey....it fact...

Sephiroth

Women's Right

Recently, I watched a video called "My Choice" by Deepika Padukone (Refer to the link below). I must say, it is the most ridiculous piece of crap I have ever watched. When I first click it, I thought it was something on empowering women - in term of giving political voices (to women), improving education and economy as well as to emphasis on social security. I actually thought this witch (Deepika) was going to showcase all these qualities for women. Instead, she just showcase how much of a b!tch she was. I pity her father to have a daughter like this.

Reference :- http://www.thestar.com.my/Lifest ... es-strong-opinions/

Therefore, I choose to find some links which emphasis on women's rights and equality accordance to Hinduism (so the bad taste left in my mouth by that crap called My Choice could actually disappear).

Source : http://hinduism.iskcon.org/practice/703.htm

Although women may be classified according to varna, they are also considered a section of society in their own right. They do not pass through the four stages available to men. Rather the Manu Smriti talks of three stages for a woman:

As a child protected by her father: Traditionally, girls did not receive a formal academic education. A woman's role, considered essential in preserving social and cultural values, was learned in the home.

As a married lady, protected by her husband: Hinduism places great value on pre-marital chastity and this has significantly influenced practices. Girls were betrothed and married at a very young age. In married life, the wife's roles were centred on the home and she was not burdened with contributing towards the family income. Fulfilling one's responsibility as a loving and available parent was considered paramount.

As a widow, protected by the eldest son: If the husband died or took sannyasa, then the widow would be looked after by the eldest living son. Elder ladies were always treated with great respect.

Women are protected by their male relatives in very stages of their life. Does this mean that Hinduism looked at women as a weaker sex? No, on the contrary, womenfolks have an important role to play in Hindu society. Unlike other society where women are nothing more than tool for sex and baby machine, ONLY Hinduism have gave the important role of building a society for women.

If one were to look at all other society prior to Christianity and Islam, you could see them lost as time passes. In Europe, Europeans had forgotten the ways of their forefathers and had accepted Christianity. In USA, many Red Indians had forgotten their belief and accepted Christianity. Same goes for Russians and Chinese. WHY? Because all these societies are based on patriarch society (which means it is male who are the primary controllers of its society's development).

But in Hinduism, Hindus have endured not only one such changes (Buddhism) but also two violence push for changes in hands of Muslims and Christianity. This is because Hinduism is Matriarch society. Women kept the belief system alive by educating it to the children they had bore, who in return passed it on to their children and that is how Hinduism continued to exist when all other belief systems had fallen to influence of Christianity and Islam. In that context, the true protectors of Hinduism are not the men but the women of Hinduism.

As for what sort of treatment women receive from Western society, I like to quote from the link below (and perhaps stupid b!tches like Deepika Padukone could actually take time to learn before opening her mouth in the future) :

Louis Jaccoliot, the celebrated French author of the Bible in India: Hindoo Origin of Hebrew and Christian Revelation said: "India of the Vedas entertained a respect for women amounting to worship; a fact which we seem little to suspect in Europe when we accuse the extreme East of having denied the dignity of woman, and of having only made her an instrument of pleasure and of passive obedience." He also said: "What! here is a civilization, which you cannot deny to be older than your own, which places the woman on a level with the man and gives her an equal place in the family and in society."

Reference : http://www.hinduwisdom.info/Women_in_Hinduism.htm

skippy

hi sepiroth..i like this post very much. vry informative.i have one question however, is there any writings on unmarried female/male? i read a book by Devdutta i think. dont remember the title though. it is mentioned that only thru  procreation, our ancestors will be able to cross the cycle of rebirth (somewhere along these lines). ill find the book and provide the exact paragraph after this. i'm not married yet and getting older toooo yet if what Devdutta said is true, then its somewhat scary to even think abt it.

Sephiroth

skippy replied at 26-4-2015 11:09 AM
hi sepiroth..i like this post very much. vry informative.i have one question however, is there any w ...

Devdutta? Do you have his full name so I can find what book he had wrote.

From what you have described, it seems that you are referring to the notion of giving birth so the cycle of birth, death and rebirth could continue. I did remember reading (in Manusmirthi or Vedas, not sure) that it is duty of a person to be married and have a good family so the line of humanity will continue. All Hindus are expected to become good sons and daughters to our family, good individuals to our society and nation and good role models to our future generations (our children) before we could progress toward Spiritualism.

But do not forget that many Sages and Rishis also have rejected family lives and become involved in Spiritualism alone. There are also many today who refuses to marry and live for sake of societies and the People - like those in military, Monks and Swamis. Are they going against Hinduism? Is their way of life wrong accordance to Hinduism?

My personal opinion is that this is not true. Some people have different callings than most. Majority of people are worldly minded so their mindset could go toward wanting to have relationship and start a family. But there are also others who have different callings and purpose - already pre-set in life (by the Gods). They could not find any relationships, and even if they do, it will not last. And even if it lasts, they could find it hard to start a family and even if they did (against all odds), they will find it that their family ties will be severed (through marriage problems, divorce, separation and even death). The fault is not in the stars but in their predestined calling which they are required to answer.

However, these conditions DO NOT include people who choose to live a materialistic lives - going to club and partying all night, indulge in sexual entertainment or devoiding oneself from all form of Spiritual activities or one who has physical problems with him/herself (like dyfunctional sexual organs).

As for your worries that you are not married, do not be so worried. I am too are not married and have reached mid-40s. My brothers kept looking through my jatagam (rashi) and found no fault in the stars (matter a fact, it says I could be married soon ) but I know for certain that it could not happened. I knew it from the time I had reached 21 years old that marriage live was not for me. So don't worry so much. If the Gods choose you to have marriage live, it will happen.

skippy

Sephiroth replied at 29-4-2015 09:59 AM
Devdutta? Do you have his full name so I can find what book he had wrote.

From what ...

sorry took me a while to reply. the book i refer to is by devdutt pattanaik  , title --> myth=mithya . quite an interesting book, got it from india. most of the things there in the book are things which i dont know. and not sure how true of what he says either.

my parents are taking me to temples (india included) jus so that i can get married . most astrologers say i will get married by 32 at most and next year im going to be 32. it looks to me that im moving towards teh path of staying single as well

Sephiroth

skippy replied at 4-5-2015 10:50 PM
sorry took me a while to reply. the book i refer to is by devdutt pattanaik  , title --> myth=mith ...

Devdutt Pattanaik? I have googled him and this is what I got : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Devdutt_Pattanaik

Can't say I have had read any of his work.

Don't believe in Astrology too much. The future is not determined by the Stars, it is determined by our Karma. I always knew that I could not be married (in this life time anyway. Still hopeful for the next. ) because I have a different duty to perform in this life. I knew that when I reached 21 years old and met my first special person ( ).

Anyway, good luck to you and your temple visit. Maybe your luck will be better than mine.

Truth.8

skippy replied at 4-5-2015 10:50 PM
sorry took me a while to reply. the book i refer to is by devdutt pattanaik  , title --> myth=mith ...

my parents are taking me to temples (india included) jus so that i can get married . most astrologers say i will get married by 32 at most and next year im going to be 32. it looks to me that im moving towards teh path of staying single as well

all those astro / bird reading include jothyism reading not relevant now....because this peoples only interested taking your money...the true ancient peoples well versed in this fields are  gone ....now all fake...
Trust in GOD  and  HE will  leads you the way rather than all those crap on palm reading and bla bla bla nonsense...